Welcome to the latest edition of Smoke & Mirrors. For those of you who tuned in to the most recent episode of SLTD Radio, which you can download from iTunes here, then you’ll know that I was more pissed off than usual. WWE and TNA haven’t half served up some shite for us over the last 8 weeks or so and to be fair, I’ve just had enough.
Not to break kayfabe or anything like that, cos that’s Greg’s job (sorry mate! That was a bit of a low-blow, haha..), but after we finished the live show on Thursday, I actually had to apologise to the fellas off-air for being so aggressive towards them. Not that it was them per se, just that I was pissed off in general about the topics.
Talking of that, one of the things I was pissed off at was the Me-hee-cahn jackass… I mean aristoprat… I mean Juan Blandshaw Layfield… Dammit, what is his name… Oh yeah! Alberto del Rio, winning the World Heavyweight Championship on SmackDown last week. When we recorded/broadcast SLTD Radio, I hadn’t physically seen SmackDown, but I was pissed off enough without having witnessed it.
Now I’ve seen last week’s SmackDown, and I’m just as annoyed as I was, so I reckoned it was time that we all sat down and you read what I have to say. I need to vent about this. Sorry. If you’re easily offended, then I’d suggest either averting your eyes, or putting a quid in the swear jar for me every time you read a swear word. Trust me. There’s going to be a fuckload of them. See. There ya go. First one straight off the bat! Urghhh… I’m gonna cost one of you lot a hell of a lot of money!
Right. I guess the main thing that annoys me is that I just don’t see what Juan has done to deserve it. I’m genuinely not taking the piss here, but he must have had in the region of 20 actual title matches in the last 18-24 months (not including the MiTB cash-in, cos to be honest, I reckon I could cash that son-bitch in) and he’s won 3. Yup. 3 wins in 20 title matches in 2 years, and his 2 previous title runs weren’t exactly shit-hot were they? Flip that over to TNA and Austin Aries has lost 3 title matches in 18 months (at Bound for Glory and Turning Point on PPV, and a Xmas holiday edition of Impact. I haven’t see Genesis yet. It’s on Challenge TV at 10pm tonight in the UK). That’s it. Makes you think doesn’t it? Don’t get me wrong. From bell to bell, del Rio can go. Never doubted his in-ring ability. It’s his gimmick, character, whatever the fuck you want to call it, that’s just shite.
This picture to the right is one of the most sickening images I can imagine. Other than the closing scene of Hulk Hogan’s sex tape or the aftermath of a car crash involving his son, Nick. Not to mention the fact that when you see a picture of del Rio during/after a match, there’s a wee look of the Gary Glitter about him. What? Too soon? I know that in the grand scheme of things, my opinion really means fuck all to the bigwigs at WWE. I’m not deluded. I just reckon they’ve put the belt on Berty to try and make him a superstar, when in reality, he should already be a superstar. Especially cos he’s been on the main roster for about 2.5 years at this stage.
I think I might have mentioned this when I ranted on SLTD Radio (which is available on iTunes and Spreaker Radio so you can listen to some wrestling goodness wherever you might be!), but if you took Ricardo Rodriguez, and now the World Heavyweight Championship, away from del Rio, would anyone actually give a shit? No. I watched SmackDown earlier today and the hardest working talent on that show is the pre-recorded crowd noise that gets dubbed over the pictures when del Rio is in the ring. Seriously!
Ricardo Rodriguez makes people give a shit about del Rio, whether he’s a heel or a babyface. Take that away and what have you got? Just some no-good, bland mother-lover who nobody cares about. I’ve said before, it’s not that del Rio is short of in-ring talent, but gimmick wise, it’s awful. He looks nervous when he cuts promos. He can’t seem to interact well with the crowd.
For me, he was only given the belt to push his babyface run down our throats. Think about it. Berty turned babyface at TLC. That was 4 weeks ago. In that time, I heard that he Nick Hogan-ed into Santa Claus on Raw (that’s not very babyface-ish is it?), and now, all of a sudden, he’s become World Heavyweight Champion. Instead of letting del Rio settle in to his new babyface role, they’ve (WWE) just decided “you know what? Fuck the fans. Fuck letting them wait for a build to del Rio winning the title. Let’s just ram it down their throats like Chyna gobbling X-Pac.”
OK, so some of that might’ve been too graphic, and most of it might not have been said, but you get what I’m driving at. That’s what grinds my gears. Instead of letting del Rio earn (that’s probably the wrong word) the prestige of being champ, they’ve anointed (that word’s from Greg’s ‘Word of the Day’ shitrag) del Rio as champ and effectively told us “worship this man, for he is a god”. I call bullshit on you WWE, and your creative team. There are other superstars who have just begun new roles on the roster, like Miz for example. Have WWE put the WWE or World Heavyweight, Championship on him? No. They haven’t. So why del Rio?
In this modern-day world of sports-entertainment (I fucking hate that phrase), we’re forever told that it’s not just about someone having wrestling ability. It’s about the whole package. In-ring work. Promo skills. Crowd interaction. The whole she-bang. It’s about being the complete performer, or as close to it as he/she can be. Del Rio just isn’t. He’s a very good wrestler, but his promo’s and crowd interaction are just, to coin a Scottish phrase, jobbies. That means shit for those of you wondering.
I don’t wanna keep harking back to it, but on SLTD Radio this past Thursday, I said that in terms of del Rio, you can’t polish a turd. It seems WWE and their creative team disagree with SLTD’s resident “Scottish Nightmare” somewhat. Instead of polishing a turd, they’ve made it World Heavyweight Champion and whatever way you look at it, that’s a sad state of affairs for WWE and the prestige of the World Heavyweight Championship.
Well, that’s got some things off my chest. There’s more, but I don’t wanna get sued so I’ll leave it at that. What do you reckon? Have I been too harsh on del Rio? Should I wait and see how things pan out? Or have WWE just adorned a turd as their World Heavyweight Champion? You know the drill. I ain’t teaching you to suck eggs. You know what to do. Leave a comment below or fire off a tweet to me @george_sltd and let’s shoot the shit bitches!
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I’ll be back at a brand-new shiny time and date next week for the next Smoke & Mirrors. From now on, I’ll be supplying your lunchtime reading material on a Tuesday, so be sure to check back then for another lethal dose of sarcasm, swearing and the possibility of more jokes about the Hogan family! I can’t help it. They’re such a good source of material. Anyway, I’m off before I get into any more trouble.
See you next Tuesday!